Some Thoughts On “Drop The T”

An unfortunate petition recently appeared on change.org, calling on groups like Lambda Legal, GLAAD, and the Human Rights Campaign to drop the T from the LGBT acronym. Among the justifications for this were claims that the Trans community has a different ideology “from that promoted by the LGB community,” and that this ideology “is ultimately regressive and actually hostile to the goals of women and gay men.” Now, the above named groups have all spoken out against the petition, and it hasn’t gained much support from the community; but this is being latched onto by anti-equality activists like Dr. Michael Brown, as a sign of weakness … a rift among the “gay activist movement.” There are three things I would like to touch on. The first is a response to this ‘rift theory.’ The second is a thought on cooperation and communication for my fellow Trans activists. The third is a direct response to a part of the petition that I was particularly struck by – that the Trans ideology is hostile to the goals of women.

(1) Within any group of people, you are going to find differing viewpoints; and every once in awhile you are going to find someone who takes a misguided and hurtful idea into the public sphere. This doesn’t mean there is a rift, however, quite the contrary. The “Drop the T” petition has been met with opposition from within the community, because it stands against the very foundation of LGBT activism itself – Equality. We talk about, promote, educate, and give exposure to our issues and struggles because equality depends on understanding. The “Drop the T” petition has been met with a calm, matter-of-fact, and very professional “NO” from the groups it was directed at. What we have here is a few people who are disillusioned and angry, and an entire community denying their request to take unnecessary action. If anything, this is a sign of strength. The community is coming together against someone seeking to undermine all that we’ve worked for. Those who see this a sign of weakness, people like Dr. Michael Brown, had better look again. We are strong.

(2) I think it’s important to point this out. We aren’t perfect. Despite the fact that the petition is a minority view, it shows that we still have work to do in our own house. One of the big problems the drafter of the petition has with the Trans community is the reaction some Trans people have when questions are raised. This is not a new complaint, and I have seen it myself. Often (though not always), Trans activists are not entirely receptive, and will lash out when certain queries are made. I saw this firsthand at a conference, where a woman asked a Trans panel if it was necessary to have so many identifying terms within the Trans community. Now, I understand that gender identity is very complex, and “Genderqueer” is the word I use for my own gender variance. But “Genderqueer” is just one of many terms I could have gone with. It’s a deeply personal thing. Some of us understand and accept that, but not everybody does. The woman who asked the panel if so many terms were necessary was asking an honest question, but the response was loud and angry. This should not have happened, and it disillusioned quite a few people.

The frustration is understandable. Trans issues are currently the most misunderstood in our human experience. From washrooms to pronouns, people just don’t get it, and we are losing a lot of lives to the same hatred that has taken the lives of countless gay and lesbian men and women. The discussion on gender is just getting started, and the desire to live freely and openly is a desire worth working for. But we have to realize that change comes with time. Prior to his murder in 1978, Harvey Milk had been a leader in the infancy of the Gay Rights movement. It would be 37 years later, in 2015, that marriage equality would be reached in the United States; and we still have a long way to go. Trans issues are decades behind. Gender identity is not understood, the social dynamics and implications are not understood, and the way we are going to get them understood is by education and discussion. The way to achieve for the Trans community what has been achieved for the LGB community is by using the same methods. I understand the frustration, and I understand the very real and present dangers we face, but it’s up to us to lead the discussion on this topic … shouting at people for asking questions creates enemies, not allies.

(3) The statement that the Trans ‘ideology,’ as if there is only one, is hostile to the goals of women is offensive from the outset. Aside from the implication that all Trans people are the same, the pressing problem is what is meant by the entire statement. What the petition is saying is that people like Caitlyn Jenner are men masquerading as women, and in doing so using male privilege to further oppress and/or mock women. For a homosexual person to say about Trans people exactly what has been said about them is absolutely disgusting.

Homosexuality has been called a choice, a mockery of gender and gender roles, and a lifestyle, among many many other things. Ignorant critics think they’re clever when they say that in same-sex relationships “one plays the man, the other plays the woman.” The similarities between what’s been said about the LGB community and what this petition says about the Trans community are so glaringly obvious we shouldn’t have to talk about them.

“Hostile to the goals of women.” Anybody who says this doesn’t understand what gender identity is AT ALL. Gender is a matter of brain organization, a matter of function. A Trans woman IS a woman. A Trans man IS a man. A Trans person who’s gender is both man and woman, a person like me, IS both a man and a woman. A Trans person outside of the binary … IS a person outside of the gender binary. These are intrinsic pieces of identity, they are as naturally occurring as sexual orientation. To say that Trans ideology is hostile to the goals of women, is to say that sex and gender are the same thing, that being Transgender is wrong, and that being biologically male while “claiming” to be a woman, or being biologically female while “claiming” to be a man, undermines the goals and issues of women’s rights. You might as well say “I want to say something about Trans issues, and I know all I need to know from watching Jerry Springer. I think it’s fake and offensive, so I’m just going to go with that.” A much better strategy, unless you’re trying to look foolish, would be to say nothing at all.

So in response to those giddy with excitement over a perceived rift in our cause – sorry to disappoint you. To my fellow Trans activists, effective communication is incumbent upon us if we are to make any kind of progress. In direct response to the petition – I could write a book on the problems with it, but for now I’ll keep with the point that struck me hardest. If you think we are hostile to women, you might want to consider looking for credible information on Transgender issues. It couldn’t hurt to learn a few things, so that next time your foot doesn’t go directly into your mouth.

 

3 Quick Points To Improve Our Approach

To my LGBTQ+ and Allied readers: Please accept this as constructive advice. To my evangelical Christian readers: Please feel free to read my outline of the approach I wish to see LGBTQ+ rights advocates take. I am interested in opening dialog with an understanding of where you are coming from. We are not angry rabid animals as many of you seem to think.

As a former evangelical Christian with an education in cultural anthropology and religious studies, I advocate for social equality and LGBTQ+ rights as ‘Outspoken Ally.’ Understanding religion and its effects is my life’s work, and I advocate by confronting the religious foundations of anti-LGBTQ+ ideals. As we push forward and gain tremendous ground in the fight for understanding and acceptance, I feel that many opportunities for discussion are being lost, and this is due to the fact that we can’t engage with what we don’t quite grasp. Traditional religious doctrine, in this case traditional Christian doctrine, is ingrained into our culture. North American society was built, after all, with Christian teaching in mind. Our laws, traditions, holidays, our collective worldview, and our cultural norms all share a Christian foundation. This also applies to the way we view difference, and in the case of the LGBTQ+ community, difference is both misunderstood and wrongly condemned by churches who adhere to a perceived 11th commandment: thou shalt not be gay.

Understanding religiously fuelled exclusion is vitally important if we are to confront it. We can’t just ignore the issue, or at least the cause of the issue, and saying “you’re just an asshole” does nothing but make the problem worse. If we are to achieve equality – true equality, and true acceptance – we have to meet our opponents on their level. Given that LGBTQ+ phobia is firmly grounded in religious teaching, that level IS religious teaching. The problem is that very few of us understand, and many just don’t care, why so many Christians feel the way they do; and why they fight so vehemently against a level of acceptance that should be of obvious benefit to everyone. There are three quick points that we should all keep in mind when confronted with comments like “it’s a sin,” “it’s a choice,” “it’s unnatural,” etc. We should also remember that there is more to it. This is just a start, Christianity is surprisingly complex, but these three things are a good baseline for understanding.

#1: They mean well

When an evangelical Christian says ” I don’t agree with homosexuality, it’s a sin,” we immediately think “what a jerk.” In many cases, though, they actually mean well. The Bible explicitly tells believers that they are to witness, to spread the gospel, and this means pointing out the sins of others so they can know God and be saved. It comes out as hate of course, and we’re right to take them to task for that, but we must do it with the understanding that they have no idea what impact their words have. For me, understanding this causes a reaction of calm rather than anger. There is a lot of dishonesty on the evangelical side to get angry at, but if I know the person I am speaking with genuinely doesn’t understand what they are talking about, I feel sorry for them. They have been taken in by a false doctrine. Empathy for their situation makes me proceed with more calm than aggression.

#2: They either don’t understand the Bible, what homosexuality IS, or both

There is an entire page on this site titled “Think,” dedicated to discussing apparent biblical condemnations of homosexuality. The reason I wrote it was that few Christians understand the culture in which the books of the Bible were written. More importantly, they don’t understand what homosexuality, or any identifying term other than their own, actually IS. It’s important to know this, because if we know they mean well, and that they don’t even understand the thing they are condemning, then we can take it upon ourselves to educate. Just be sure that when you attempt to confront someone with factual information about LGBTQ+ issues, you come across with empathy. Too many of us attack, and come across as … well … jerks.

#3: They will be quick to defend

Even after calmly and rationally explaining things, many people will still feel attacked, and that spurs a rush to defend themselves. This can be very frustrating, because it feels like you’ve wasted your time and breath. The important thing to remember as they fly into a diatribe is to keep your composure. Show them that you aren’t here to fight, you’re here to talk. I rarely get into heated arguments anymore, because nothing gets accomplished. If my opponent gets loud, I let them shout, and I speak again once they calm down.

We’re all quick to defend when we feel that a personal aspect of our identity is under fire, and that’s how deep it goes for many in the anti-gay camp. A lot of emphasis is put on homosexuality at the pulpit, especially in the last decade, to the point where bias around it has come to be viewed as a vital tenet of faith. The more personal something becomes, the more defensive people become of it. It’s not okay to defend exclusion, bigotry, or misinformation, but understanding where the defensive stance is coming from makes a big difference. Understanding informs us on how to proceed with pointing out the exclusion, bigotry, and misinformation, that church teaching has blinded them to.

Above all, be kind and be honest. There is no need to intentionally offend, no need to call people names, no need to be uncivil. We are victims of exclusion and hate, and they are victims of false teaching. I get very angry at times, as is natural when you deal with these issues daily, but I recognize the importance of introspection. I have to keep myself in check, constantly think about what I write, and about the arguments I present. Everything is carefully considered, and although I say things that are intended to stir emotion, there are some lines I just won’t cross. Understanding these three things helps me stay within those boundaries. Most evangelical Christians mean well, but they don’t understand the Bible, what homosexuality IS, or both, and they will be quick to defend what they see as an attack on their faith.

Now, this call for civility may bother some in my own camp. I get that. I certainly don’t mean to say that everything we’re doing is wrong. Culture and law are moving toward equality because of our efforts, and that’s no small feat. I chose to write this because Christian news anchors, interviewers, radio hosts, and other influencers are very adamantly talking about how we are militant, angry, vicious, and insulting. They make up lies and present them as truth, and their work leads ultimately to suicides, beatings, and murders. We have every right to be pissed off, but when we stoop to their level, it gives them more to talk about. The legal issues and overall cultural discussion are being dealt with effectively, but those of us on the ground, so to speak, have a voice also. It’s very important that we use that voice as effectively as possible.

A Legitimate Question

On May 1st of this year, I asked “Anti-Gay Activists, Why Do You Persist?” Today I’m asking again. It’s not that I don’t understand the scriptural basis for your condemnation – I understand it very well. My question has to do with why you insist upon waging war against equality. Why the animosity? Since the landmark SCOTUS decision legalizing same-sex marriage, a number of pastors and religious leaders have blatantly declared outright war on the LGBTQ+ community and allies – even more than before. They just can’t let it go, and I’m curious as to why that is.

Bryan Fischer takes to the airwaves every day, and you can regularly count on him to decry the dangers facing America as a result of the acceptance of the “gay lifestyle.” He compares pro-equality activists to Hitler’s Nazi’s, and even claims that “Hitler surrounded himself with homosexuals because he couldn’t get straight soldiers to be savage enough.” What is it that makes a person feel so threatened that they resort to such bizarre and offensive falsehoods?

Politicians, televangelists, and country preachers write books, articles, and Facebook posts in which they claim that gay men are more likely to be child predators. The available research (credible research) on same-sex families suggests a different picture, and even if that information didn’t exist, the claims would still be speculative at best. Now, it would be one thing if they admitted speculation, they would just be wrong in that case, but they prefer instead to claim that they’ve actually researched the issues and know what they’re talking about. Why?

There are thousands of examples that could be used here. As a former evangelical homophobe, I understand the desire to aggressively jump at issues of equality when you believe that equality isn’t deserved, but these people are really taking it beyond the pale. Even when they’re caught lying or proven to be just flat-out ignorant, they don’t stop. Paul Cameron has been disowned by every reputable psychological association in North America, and Tony Perkins has never made a factual statement about the LGBTQ+ community; aside from the admission that they exist. Regardless, they continue to make things up and their followers stay loyal. They just keep lying. Why?

It must be stated again and again that this war is being fought entirely on one side. Our goal is simple – equality. That’s what we fight for, and we’re getting there. To the religious right, though, this fight is about the destruction of society. They are convinced that pro-equality activists are after their children, their churches, and their faith. As I said on July 9 of this year (“The Gay Agenda”), they are fighting a monster that doesn’t exist. They are fighting a war being waged only by them. We’re not even really responding. We just challenge the status quo in favour of a more loving and equal society, while they wage war on an enemy that exists only in their imagination. Why?

A tactic that bothers me most in all of this is when pastors and Christian publications occasionally read and publish transparently fabricated “ex-gay” letters. Christianity Today has done this in the past, and every once in awhile I come across these letters being read in sermons. When I read and listen to these, I almost feel embarrassed for whoever is presenting it. I also feel embarrassed for those who believe it. Obvious fabrications made to enforce homosexuality as a choice, a sickness, a curable disease. The ex-gay man who found solace in the arms of men because his father didn’t love him. The ex-gay woman who grew up with a single mother, and rejected men because her father had left them when she was young. The ex-gay convert to Christianity who found love in the arms of Jesus, and in that love the strength to reject same-sex desires. Sound familiar? Now, I don’t want to downplay the experiences of someone who legitimately went through a tough time and triumphantly came through it, but the “ex-gay” movement is a sham. It’s a coercive religious movement that uses shame and guilt to force people back into the closet. Ex-gay stories are the evangelical equivalent of chance encounters written about in Penthouse Forum – made up scenarios to excite and engage those who believe that these things actually happen. The difference is that the “ex-gay” movement leaves a tragic mess of guilt-ridden and broken hearts in its wake.

I have always been open about my hateful past. I understand how it feels for a person who believes wholeheartedly that the Bible calls homosexuality an abomination. I understand that the perspective from that vantage point is completely closed to the possibility of being wrong, and entirely closed to the possibility that scripture was not written in a vacuum but has linguistic, historical, cultural, and spiritual contexts to it. All I’m asking here is for evangelicals reading this to think about the question. Why insist upon this so vehemently? I’ve asked this question before, but it bears repeating. You say “Jesus said to love everybody,” and you openly condemn in the same breath. Why? If I may be so bold as to suggest an approach similar to 1 Peter 3:15, ask yourself if there is a rational justification for your distaste toward LGBTQ+ people. It’s a legitimate question.

 

Anti-Gay Activists, Why Do You Persist?

Understanding the religious foundations of hate is what makes Outspoken Ally’s message relevant to the discussion. From experience having been there, to studying theology and culture, to keeping up with current events, this entire project continues from the love of standing up on issues that need to be understood. Outspoken Ally’s persistence is due to a genuine empathy for humanity. A strong desire to stop the hurt and drive the discussion toward acceptance, and ultimately social equality, is what keeps us going. This persistence is easily justified because it’s necessary. Despite the experience and knowledge, however, there is one thing not quite understood. The persistence of anti-gay activists.

I was a homophobe for years, and I’ve always been outspoken. In High School, I spoke loudly and often about the “depraved sinful shame of homosexuality.” There were people around me who didn’t feel safe coming out until years later because of the hate I displayed. There were allies around me who disagreed, but I was intentionally arrogant and closed my mind to their objections. I was persistent, but then something happened. As I went through life’s experiences, I paid attention to what could be learned from them. I went to sea for five years and learned a lot. I went to university for four years and learned even more. I embraced the importance of family and learned about the joy of life. In short, I grew up. I became an adult.

I don’t understand the persistence of anti-gay activists. People like Ted Cruz go around making up lies and ridiculous reasons for their bigotry, but why? I understand the strong convictions involved, really I do, but why the persistence? Why not just look at the facts you’re standing against? Why must you insist on the authority of writings from a different time and culture? Where is the justification? What do you stand to gain from this? Do you think your salvation depends on it? Do you think your marriage will somehow means less if everybody gets to make those vows? Think of the money you’re spending on campaigns against equality, and imagine what it could do if used for good!

To be fair, I understand that the Bible is absolutely insistent on the importance of bearing witness. Almost every book talks about it somewhere. The book of Acts alone talks about it several times. The thing is, though, it’s not right to loudly condemn everyone who doesn’t fit into your own cookie-cutter mould of morality. I know that Jesus said to judge righteously in John 7:24, but I doubt he was condoning the denial of equality. Lay down your arms and grow up. We need peace.

A couple of questions for my theist readers. Why persist? Why is it that some of you felt it necessary to scream “God has cursed your genitals with STD’s” at the Supreme Court protest just days ago? What is it about LGBTQ+ issues that stir you up so much that you just can’t give up this resistance to fair and equal treatment?