Being “Macho” Is Nothing To Be Proud Of

*Potentially Severe Trigger Warning*

Today I’m going to talk about knuckle-dragging ‘macho men.’ You know the type, the arrogant jerks who use the date rape drug and film their abusive exploits, calling it “fun.” I make no apologies for using the term “knuckle-dragger,” and I’ll get to that in the final paragraph, but I first want to address two notions that exist in the social consciousness of these people. The two ideas at issue today are: two women together = hot, two men together = gross. These two notions have big implications, too big for one post, so let’s scratch the surface.

Two women together = hot. This, of course, is an opinion held by the majority of heterosexual males who fantasize about being with two women at the same time. It’s a common fantasy pushed by advertisers, sitcom characters, and the adult film industry, and it’s problematic for many reasons. Aside from the obvious objectification issues, the heterosexual male attraction to two women together becomes particularly troublesome in cases where the two women happen to be gay. The average young knuckle-dragger will picture himself in between the two women, completely missing the point that they don’t want him there; regardless of how much he thinks he deserves to be. So long as he doesn’t act on these fantasies and cause harm, ‘two women together = hot‘ is merely an ideological issue, although ideologies admittedly do a lot of damage as they permeate social norms.

Two men together = gross. This notion causes a lot of social disruption. ‘Macho men,’ often feeling they have to prove their ‘manhood,’ use slurs and hateful actions designed to humiliate gay men in public. Unable to fathom two men together, unable to see it as anything less than threatening, they go out of their way to comment, point, and laugh … yet drool like complete idiots at the lesbian couple who just walked in to the room. If you ask them about this, which I have, you usually get a response in which they reveal their disagreement with homosexuality. Oh, the irony, and there’s the big problem.

Drooling over a lesbian and condemning a gay man demonstrates an aversion to homosexuality, and a failure to realize that women can truly be gay. This is dangerous. Thanks to the patriarchal foundations of misogyny, we see this idea play out all the time. A lot of you won’t like this, but here’s what it boils down to: “women are different from men. They’re weaker, submissive, and as such can be objectified, because we have that right. There is no such thing as a true lesbian, lesbians are just women who haven’t met a man who could satisfy them. I am that man. Since there are two of them, and since that pleases me, I will take them both and show them what a real man can do. As for that gay couple over there in the corner, that’s disgusting, and those filthy fags should be dragged out into the street and shot.” Like it or not, and hard as it may be to get anybody to admit it, this is the mindset (as an entirely different issue for another post, let’s not forget that justifications for rape result from this mindset as well). 

This is the attitude of ‘macho’ culture. It’s a misogynistic entitlement of a patriarchal culture obsessed with gratification. It’s a dangerous failure to understand homosexuality, and a waste of human intelligence, resulting in gay men and women being further dehumanized and reduced to mere objects. A lot has to change for this problem to disappear. It’s not just a matter of education on LGBTQ+ issues, the patriarchy and all of it’s components have to be taken down on this one. 

This interconnectedness of minority issues is what the fight for equality is all about, and the misogynistic ‘macho men’ who espouse their views in nightclubs and online forums for “The Men’s Rights Movement” have to be called out. It’s not a joke or a bunch of guys having a good time, it’s an idiotic display of extreme ignorance and entitlement, being seen in recent years with increasing frequency. 

There is, among many people, a reluctance to confront these guys. I understand that. They often travel in packs and do their level best to appear intimidating. In the town where I went to university, a lot of them were military personnel. In this case it’s unwise to start anything, since they often go out for the express purpose of ganging up on people, and act tough when they win a 7-on-1 fight. If you get a lot of these people sober, however, you find that they’re just like most bullies – they back down when confronted. Don’t be afraid to stand up and say “this isn’t right.” These guys are a big problem. They are hurting people, and they think they have the right to do it.

I make no apologies for using the term “knuckle-dragger.” When you willingly and without regret go out and hurt people for your own gratification, you deserve to be labelled for what you are – primitive and savage. When you start acting like a civilized human being, and treating people with equal consideration and dignity, you will earn the proper respect. Being ‘macho’ is nothing to be proud of.         



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